2/20/2007

Lawyers

I know Lawyers have a bad rep but do they really deserve it? In most cases the answer is yes. A friend sent me a few good Lawyer jokes, hope you enjoy.
Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree
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Q: What do you call 25 lawyer's buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
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Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
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Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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